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>Be me at 5 years old
>I pronounce the letter “v” as the letter “p”
>my older brothers introduce me to pokemon on the Gameboy
>I pick bulbasaur because he is my favorite
>I train him every day until he eventually evolves into a majestic penusaur
>I am so enthralled by penusaur’s stature that I stomp around the house mimicking his cry
>”penusaur! Penusaur!” I shout as I stomp around the house
>my mom takes me to the doctor because she thinks I have autism
>I was scared of the doctor but penusaur was fearless
>”how are you feeling, big guy?” the doctor asks
>”PENUSAUR!” I exclaim
>the doctor is taken aback by penusaur’s massive girth
>he insists penusaur must be held for further research
>much to his dismay penusaur can not be controlled
>penusaur spreads his mighty seed as the nurses flee in terror
>penusaur’s girth is too much for the pediactric center
>none are safe from my rampage
>until out of nowhere penusaur feels drowsy
>before long penusaur is completely flaccid
>I awake in a hospital bed with a bowl of ice cream
>”do you like ice cream?” the doctor asks
>of course I like ice cream
>fucking casual
