>>16262173You don't receive an immediate explanation for the treachery thrown upon you, but what you DO receive, is a bunch of silly metaphors and similes that don't quite make as much sense as they should.
"Like a leaf blower gently blowing leaves onto the chilly horizon..."
"The epitome of a salamander trekking throughout the parched savannah at speeds twice its full potential..."
"The rused awaits, defeated and lying in the murky darkness, attempting to find reason within an incomprehensible sphere of befuddled cliches and lifted zeitgeists."
"WITHIN THAT REALM, A NEW SAVIOR ARISES FROM THE DUSTY GRAY ASHES TO LIBERATE THE WORLD OF ITS FORGOTTEN TREASURES."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQpZpxB8UPwA gush of magical pink fairy dust overtakes the scene, coating everything in a mystifying terrain of sparkles beyond your most wildest dreams.
A Gardevoir appears, sandy bag in hand."That thief is I! The Meticulous Purloin Skitter of Dark Truths, En GUARDEVOIR!"
"En Guarde-what now?" you ask, completely befuddled.
"I have been sent by higher authority to free this magical bag of pure muddy sand in order to add it to the collection of a potential client. Then and ONLY then can I wire the unclear truths about the world's undignified mysteries...The WAZOO! The UNKNOWN! The BIPPITY-BOPPITY!"
The thief blows a benevolent kiss your way, a kiss embedded with fairy dust that transforms it into a Luvdisc.
The Luvdisc latches onto your chees without warning, giving you the biggest smooch of your life. It then fades into obscurity.
"W-Whaaaawhuzzaahhhh...."
Needless to say, it's the type of philia that gets you feeling all woozy and dizzy.
A) Initiate a cat fight that you have no part in.
B) "GIVE ME DAT SAND BACK BITCH"
C) Let her keep the sand bag as a peace offering.
