Alright, /vpwt/, I've finally created a name to call myself and a story to call my own, and I'm ready to subject that story to your most perusing of eyeballs and critical of minds. That is, as long as you're okay with that.
The story's called "The Forest Temple". Here's the first part:
http://pastebin.com/Ffki7bv0.
There are a few things I'd like to point out beforehand for anyone who wants to read it: first, it's based off Mystery Dungeon. Second, it's around 16800 words total,
so you've been warned, but I split it up into parts to make it more readable. Third, it's not a completely independent story, and by that I mean it's one of several stories I've been writing that all take place in a shared universe. That means certain characters, concepts, locations, etc. reappear in multiple stories, and each story focuses on and explains certain topics more than others.
Now, since this is the first fanfic I've ever posted online, any kind of feedback would be immensely appreciated; however, there are a few things in particular I'd really like getting some feedback on.
First, regarding the whole shared-universe thing: there may be some things in this story that aren't fully explained or aren't given very much detail, as they are focused on more in other stories, but I still want this story to stand by itself. I want to make it so each of the stories in this shared universe will stand by themselves, but together, they form a much more complex and interesting whole. So my question is: does this story leave too much unexplained or not?
And also: at the end of chapter 4, something kind of dark happens. You'll know it when you see it. I put it in to add drama and emphasize the threat of what the characters are facing, but I'm not sure if it's too edgy and doesn't fit with the rest of the story, or if it's okay as is. I'd love to hear some opinions on it.
And, of course, any generalized feedback and critiques are more than welcome. Thanks in advance!
