>>45318901I am feeling the exact same way. I'm depressed and apathetic to how much I am ruining my own life, but I still have a weak but present desire to fix myself, so I'm stuck. My grandfather also died today, which is incredibly sudden and painful. I wish I had called him before he died so I could have at least said goodbye. This sudden loss also makes me feel guilty for wanting to die because it would hurt my family, like my grandfather's death is hurting us now. I hope other anons are doing well. Best wishes to you.
