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Last Wednesday I noticed that a new Pokemon trailer dropped. Mostly by the wave of lewd fanart on my Twitter feed. So I opened a Youtube tab and searched for it.
My expectations were pretty low, the usual critters idling at 6 FPS with their stupefied painted faces and sprawling wastelands with an origami tree put here and there.
But, oh boy, Game Freak is professionally committed to making each new game more unprofessional than the previous, and icing it with just enough fan service to let the vast majority of potential customers forget that they're buying for 60+ bucks games that could run on a PS2.
What I'm talking about?
• The aforementioned low FPS of the pokemon, the fact that landscapes are barren steppe made with a bunch of generic assets, where the objects made by GF stick out like a sore thumb.
• The fact that they won't have any voice acting despite the trailers featuring i, because it's the standard of the industry now. Tragicomic.
• The apparent step back after Arceus to un-animated battles where pokemon never touch, but throw emojis at each other.
• The increasingly creepy human designs, which look less and less like pokemon characters and can't handle facial expressions and mouth flaps.
• Another ultimate move that will become the new coat of paint for a battle system that for the last 9 years gravitated around an auto-win button.
