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Im terminal loser because I'm a freak. I'm not normal, I don't fit in. I've worn nice clothes, practice good hygiene, gothic great shape, but none of it matters, because I'm not normal. I stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd, and a lifetime of teasing, mockery, bullying, name calling, being laughed at, insults, jokes, being ignored, treated like a retard, and being the butt of the same tired jokes for the 30 years I've been alive. Friends, family, strangers, all of them. I've lost my self esteem. It's dead. Shame and embarassment I feel just by going out in public makes me scared to be social, but isolation cucks almost as much as the shit I get from people. I'm going to kill myself after my parents die so this can just end. I can't take it anymore. Life is tedious, unpleasant, and feels like a chore. I feel empty, hollow, unfulfilled, all because of a trait that can't be controlled. I hate the fact I was ever born.
