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>You will never be transformed into a neverending roll of toilet paper in the bathroom of a 12 year old girl whose parents become suspicious that they never have to change the roll and accidentally discover your magical properties and reveal you to the nation on CNN as some kind of entropy-defeating fantastical shitcleaning device and you eventually get stolen from the laboratory where scientists are working on you day and night to unlock your secrets and sold to Serena at a secret jewish auction and she uses you for the rest of her natural life wherein she looks exactly the same and never visibly ages a day and has no idea that you are fully sentient