Quoted By:
My name is Patrick Spoofman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in Richard Dawkins, and a frozen foods diet and a rigorous couch-to-fridge routine. In the morning, when my heart feels a little puffy, I’ll open up PGsharp while eating my microwave burritos. I can eat a thousand now. After I remove my Velcro shoes, I use a degreasing cleanser agent. In the shower I use a water activated sponge on a stick, then catch some shundos on my baby spoof account, and shovel down a couple hot sauce-seasoned hot pockets. Then I open up /pgg/ which I spam my spoof gains for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use apply pizza grease after shave with little or no foreskin cream, because foreskin cream makes one look like a walkie. Then a quick wank to some loli pokegirls then another spoofing sesh followed by a final dozen hot dogs eaten. There is an idea of a Patrick Spoofman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only a blob. Something portly. And though I can hide my adipose tissue, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh sagging in my sleeves, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably not comparable, I simply am not functional.
