>>31376590One good thing and one bad thing interconnected.
So, for what had been nearly 7 years of my life, I had thought of myself as gay or bisexual, and felt like I couldn't really pinpoint which of the two really fit me, so I was constantly going back and forth about that. Turns out, for whatever reason, my attraction towards males started feeling fabricated, and soon enough I was realizing I, indeed, was into girls. In other words, I didn't struggle with my homosexuality like it happens with other people. I struggled with my heterosexuality. But, it's overall a good thing. It feels like the whole sexuality introspection game is finally over.
I have several insecurities about myself, the most prominent of which is my circumcision, as retarded as it may sound to some. I'm guessing thinking I was gay was some kind of defense mechanism for me, because it didn't make me feel like I really wanted to be in a relationship with someone else, and so all my insecurities were safely kept for myself. Now that I'm aware I'm straight, I feel like I want to be with someone, yet that fact now makes me have to face all those insecurities, and how I'd have to expose them to someone else or overcome them if I want to have any sort of affection. It's started making me seriously depressed, because for 7 years I never learned to deal with those things.Strangely enough, being able to put those thoughts into words here and confessing to all that shit makes me feel a lot better, and like I can finally face up to those problems and deal with them. 