>>42699828>>42700530https://youtu.be/i5ppnn6TX3U?t=171i'm the tall guy.
just kidding i have to say i somewhat agree with your assessments, but i feel its justifiable. i do agree that the flow is stuttery, especially in the first one at the start. i do want to redo Ideal Reflection.
if i am to paint a picture in the audience's mind, there needs to be some structure. i only wrote out what i felt necessary to get the picture i needed; you may not believe me but I feel that all four pieces are bare of details. and in most cases, especially in the third and fourth pieces, i feel i didn't write enough detail period and that there are gaps in the imagery where i thought there should be.
i found myself reading Hero Worship out loud to myself last night and it flowed just fine, as i intended it to be read. i am probably biased, ie creator's privilege, but it is something i will keep in mind in the future.
though i do feel i know what to blame for this. i have been doing a lot of legal writing as of late, and in legal writing short, rapid fire statements that thoroughly cover a topic is considered top writing; i am guilty of letting my work interfere with my fun.
no, i'm not mad. this post is much longer than i thought so it appears that way, but i'm glad someone read them
