>>53424678I've gone ahead and updates the points you had criticism over.
>Changelog:> - typo fixed> - more consistent capitalization> - clarified certain dialogue sectionsThat big dialogue chunk at the end was the last of the dialogue I wrote, and as the author I knew who was supposed to be speaking so I guess that was enough for my tired brain. Should be much clearer now.
Comments on your other comments:
1. I wasn't quite sure about the tone or if it was getting too casual; I kinda felt it's not *professional* enough, but if it's entertaining I guess that's what matters.
2. I wrote that intro back before I was sure on whether to do a direct rewrite of the original source or expand it to a fuller story, and I thought about getting rid of it when the body of the story was turning out much longer than expected.
3. I busted out the original vignette in a little under an hour; the ideas came to me quickly, and in the rewrite I just copied them wholesale and edited the text around it. Even so, I still think it's my favorite section, on both the writing and reading ends (esp. the stargazing part).
4. When I was writing the cameo, the personality blurb wasn't up yet, so I was going purely off the interaction in Gathering. I guess I got a good read on them, lol. I'm glad I did them right by you and that you enjoyed it.
An aside, but I feel like my sense of scale is off between the three. Just threw pic rel together and now I'm even less sure.5. Your stories are among my favorites here so the fact mine got a vote of confidence from you means a lot. Truly, thank you for the kind words (and criticism!). I wasn't initially planning on writing anything else
mainly for lack of any idea of what to write about, but now... idk, I just might.
