>>57608718>Could be any of these really, I feel.Definitely a bit of column A and a bit of column B...
>3rd person sort of limited?Looks like it switches from mommy to shota within two paragraphs on page three, so definitely not limited haha. Once you start noticing these things you can't unsee them. POV switches are only ever a good idea when they happen between scenes or chapters, I feel...
>Go on…?Well, what little I've read just sounds amateurish. It breaks pretty much all the criteria for "good writing" I'm aware of, between the above-mentioned info-dumping, the telling instead of showing, and summarising in a single paragraph what should've been a full-fledged scene. Sorry for sounding overly harsh, but this is my honest opinion haha
keep in mind I'm a forever amateur, forever doomed to be bitter for lacking time and resources to fully dedicate myself to writing, and not formally educated in literature and shit. Far from me to try and sell myself as the second coming of Flaubert. I'm still intrigued and I'll keep reading, I wanna give you more thoughts since you asked.
Translation is definitely good enough for me to at least assess the quality of the writing, so no worries!
>Anyway, it’s awfully late where I am, so I suppose I’ll try to sleep and leave you to reading.
Good night Anon, always a pleasure. Unfortunately I was neck-deep in haku hodo benkyou up until now so I couldn't reply nor read any more of it. 