>>56983684Ah, were you talking about
>>56981382 ? Well, I'm sure you can adjust with the extra info. It's all well and good. I really liked how you replicated the dinner table tension from my chapter 1. Admittedly, I'm sure Koa and his dad would have a slightly different dynamic by then, but honestly? Keep it as it is. I'll tell you about lore inconsistencies, but I'm not gonna be a picky asshole when someone's taken the time to write about my characters. Gift horses. Gift Mudsdales...?
I hope you didn't take the other comments to heart. Your writing style is a lot more harsh and drawn to things like firearms or IRL cars than what I'd write, but that's just you doing you.
