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I get requests for this one a lot. "Nerd, you should review Pokemon Sword and Shield. The designs are terrible!"
Really? The designs look fine to me.
It's EVERYTHING ELSE in this shitty game that is diarrhea! There's no fucking content! You get told there's 18 gyms, but guess what: you only fight eight. There's no sidequests or post game, just a single Battle Tower. Fuck, characters don't even move like human beings, and just turn and move in place like robots! Imagine if you had to go somewhere, but you had to pivot in the spot you were standing from a dead stop every time you wanted to change directions! The pokemon don't even do THAT much, they just flip so fast you think it's like how characters change directions in a fighting game! It makes ME flip! And the graphics, UGH, the graphics. I'm not even joking when I say I've seen better graphics on the N64! In fact... is that... is that tree FROM Ocarina of Time? For fuck's sake, even the game is telling me I could be playing something better!
Pokemon Sword and Shield? MORE LIKE POKEMON BORED AND YIELD! I'd rather let Tauros, Miltank, and Bouffalant take a three way pokedump all over my face-- but that can't even happen because they're not even in the fucking game!!
