>>58333080>I'd throw the fight then, hehe.Not too blatantly, Kiki wouldn't want you to go easy on him haha.
>It's disappointing to me lol.Definitely haha, there's lots of ways to get it right so it's understandable you'd be disappointed.
>https://files.catbox.moe/ya0b6h.pngThe writing seems to have improved a lot here. [Kiki: Good.] More imagery and a lot more vivid at that, as opposed to the slightly "plodding" prose of the original.
As someone who struggles with that part, I recognise it's not easy to get it right.>https://files.catbox.moe/d6l661.pngNice continuity error haha. Which makes me think, people going pale or red-faced isn't that common in real life, so those might be a bit of an over-blown cliché... which I'll always be guilty of with Kiki because blushing Kiki is cute...
>To me, who's decently familiar/steeped in the HP fandom, it's just so ubercliched to me lol.Oh yeah, that reminds me, I've read up a bit on ancient HP fandom drama and from what I remember there was some controversy (not dissimilar from the anti crap we have to worry about now) around a fic that had forced breeding as its premise lol. The more things change, the more they stay the same I guess. Dunno if you've ever heard of the Msscribe saga but it was an interesting read imo. Some unpleasant people in that fandom, gosh I hate it when it gets clique-y...
