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I probably would hate pokemon if i played it competitively. I just pretend smogon doesn't exist and enjoy the games as I would when I was younger. So I don't use online in the games, although I admit to messing around with monotype stuff on showdown for fun for a while. What i like doing now is playing through the games with pokemon i have never ever used and keep grinding minimal, set, no items for gym leaders/elite4, stuff like that. nothing too extreme though, otherwise it's just too much RNG. Midnight releases are fun too and to be part of such a big fandom for so long, feels like coming home always.
To answer your question directly, I feel like the games are an inherent part of me. No matter what happens, I will always come back to Pokemon.
