Two things regarding KFC. First, I drew a request from the request page: KFC as a pirate. Second, I looked at KFC's origin story:
>https://rentry.org/Path_to_AuraStill too edgy for my tastes. Guess I'm just not a fan of seeing
50 children being burned alive as they scream in agony. That's more a subjective thing, though. Objectively, I can say there are grammatical mistakes scattered around, which is probably my main critique. I'd suggest doing more proofreading or researching more about grammar and stuff. For example, I saw run-on sentences and overused commas, like:
>However, for the past few weeks, I’ve been spending most of my time with him, and we don’t have real names yet, so I ended up calling him "my brother.">I came to hours later, the sky was dark, and the village was illuminated by moonlight, and as I regained my senses, the pain set back in>In addition, to the new horn on his forehead, he also had a short head crest, which pointed upwards, forming an “X” shape with the tuft of tan feathers on his shoulders and under his armsAnd some improper words (like "faithful day" instead of "fateful day").
On the other hand, you do a great job depicting how brutal and horrible life in the tribe can be, and making the reader pity little KFC. I'm genuinely invested in his story, and I'm curious to see where his journey takes him. He has a good motivation, and I bet his lack of fire powers will set up interesting conflicts in the future. Also, the fight scene was written pretty well, with good action, a neat strategy, and cool changes to the battlefield.
