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I've been working all pandemic long, I'm a shift supervisor in a cardiac stepdown unit.
I've watched the acuity of the patients get worse to a level that feels similar to when we had a 8 patient to 1 nurse ratio a couple years ago. I've watched a coworker I was close to die from COVID. I've watched other people walk away, even moreso after my hospital announced they were looking for seasonal staff that would be paid more than triple the income we as floor nurses make. Only because there was outcry, they decided to give us a one time bonus that feels halfhearted. I feel like I'm being told it's my responsibility to make everyone I work with happy, but it feels like I can't and it's weighing down on me. There's no reward in this when I feel my patients aren't getting better, but also the world outside the hospital is a state that has not taken this seriously at all.
I feel like I'm expected to help and support my friends and family and when I want or need something, nobody is there for me. I feel alone. I don't know where any of this is going.
