>>37686474you didn't even give a point. You just chunked out all the jumping bits in red and then drew a green line showing where the road leads.
I asked specifically whats wrong and how to improve and you've offered nothing.
maybe if i post this with the items and such you'll get what I'm going for
but the general style of this route is pretty common, kanto 1, johto 45, hoenn 123 etc.
the intended structure is that if the player wants to forgo interacting with the jumps then they can, but if they want the items they will need to go through a few times, and the left most passage acts as both a way to get back up top and also as a logical way in universe that most people would travel.
