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I have difficulties making decisions, often waiting for others to make the decisions for me. Generally I am very passive, and can barely do anything out of my own ambition. I am talented, I guess, but I don't really do anything with it. Since I don't know what I want I am clinging to a few people around me that care about me, and I am afraid I might lose them. Though that probably just hurts them more than it hurts me. Towards most people I act rather joyful and upbeat, but only few people know how my true face looks like. It is a defensive mechanism if you want.
Heh. This is actually a perfect fit.