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Attention. This is a mandatory bulletin from HR.
My name is Wendy, and I hate every single one of you. I bet none of you fat, idiot no-lifes has ever stopped to consider how much paperwork is caused by your dumbass actions. Honestly, do you even check the balance on your corporate card before using it? It takes a lot to run an evil team from behind the scenes. I guess I went into this job expecting to be underappreciated, but you all take it to a whole new level.
Next time you visit HQ, don't be a stranger. I'm pretty much perfect. I know everything about you little shits and you probably don't even remember my name.
Thanks for listening, and don't forget to pick up your w-2s.
