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>first day teaching English in Japan
>walk into classroom
>write my name on the board
>reach into my pocket for a tissue to wipe the chalk from my hands
>accidentally knock Pokemon X out of my pocket
>atmosphere falls from lively to silent
>nervously reach out to pick it up in shame
>students start snickering as I hear insults such as "firthy casual" and "western trash"
>start sweating as I put it back into my pocket
>accidentally knock my Pikachu onahole out
>students keep laughing
>"I bet he no even rearise there a Raichu onahore, of course it Japan onry"
>my hands start shaking as I fumble to put it back into my pocket
>feel something hit me on the head
>look down
>it's Pokemon Z
>nervously pick it up as the students roar with laughter
>"enjoy catching arr 7,925 Pokemon!"
>"Satoshi-senpai, you onry gave the commoners access to 721"
I fucking hate Japan.