>>57040000A get worthy of a great drawing. I like the stitching on that jacket, very Banette-like. She looks like she just got back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan, which I guess isn't too far off the mark for most office workers I'm told.
>>57036966Hey, do me a little favor and remove the space in [Ch. 08], as the actual shortcut in the text does not have that.
Your DM/GM/ST experience really shows in your descriptions. To no one's surprise, reading through Gilded Platinum sounds exactly like sitting across from a competent host, it really enthralls the mind's eye and it's easy to picture everything playing out like an episode of the anime. I do feel obligated to warn you that I see you falling into the same trap that I always do where you'll use the same description in a small window. "Struck a messy chord," followed just seven brief sentences later by "struck a chord." Piplup described as proud and then Aqua Ring enhancing its smug pride. Bumped shoulders immediately followed by pressed shoulders.
Also you forgot to capitalize the D in "Don't mind me," so unfortunately this chapter is totally unreadable.
Had a major "OH FUCK" moment during Selene's conversation with Ken when I finally remembered why her name sounded so familiar to me. My endless autistic knowledge gets scrambled around sometimes. Awesome work on that finale.
>>57040471Oh, that Scrapunk is a fucking rad concept, I know someone who would absolutely love to get her hands on that. As it stands right now, it's just a bigger E-Scrafty. I like how the ice spikes get more pronounced to look like a punk collar, but I feel there might be more you can do to make it distinct.
>>57040530Yeah, the nice thing about your introduction is that you've left a ton of room for yourself to start branching off and freestyling and making adjustments. Just make sure not to get hung up on fixing small details as you move forward.
>>57040561It's okay, you're still new here.
