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I'm 30, live with my parents, and my ADHD-addled brain makes it hard for me to do the simplest shit. I've never learned to drive because I'm afraid I'll kill somebody. I'm aimless, feel empty inside, and long for independence but have no idea where to even begin achieving it. Terrible with money, it's like the only time I'm at peace is when I'm spending cash on pointless shit, trying to fill the void inside me, but nothing works and at the end of the day I'm just empty and broke, instead of just empty. I'm forced to work with the public during a pandemic, and my mom and sister have chronic illnesses and lowered immunity, so if I bring the shit home, it's probably curtains for them. Risking their lives for less than $12 an hour. I'm finally going to therapy and taking antidepressants, and sometimes it feels like it's working, but then the next day I want to jump off a bridge again. I always wonder if there's any kind of hope for a happy future for me, or if I'm just too far gone, because I really can't see myself having a happy life.
