Quoted By:
Hey, you bought the new Pokemon game? That means you're fucking stupid.
No, that's not my opinion. That's Game Freak's opinion of you. You bought Pokemon, so you must be a goddamn dunce, and so for the next hundred or so hours our game's dialogue is going to talk waaaay the fuck down to you, while making as little sense as humanly possible. There will not be a single human character in our game who talks like a human. They'll all talk like Steve from Blues Clues just dropped shitloads of LSD into his eye and fell into a ball pit full of Pokemon plushies.
I am not exaggerating. As an adult, this is what playing Pokemon feels like. And I get it, I totally get it. Before you shitpost, I know that Pokemon is a children's game. Just like Adventure Time and Regular Show are children's TV shows. Just like the Lego Movie and Up and Toy Story 3 are children's movies. Why do I bring those properties up? Because they prove that you CAN write dialogue and scenarios for children that aren't depressingly stupid and condescending, shit that doesn't assume the intellect of the viewer is at perfect zero. You can entertain children without making it clear to them that you think they're dumb as shit. That's a thing! But not in Game Freak's world.
