>>48702985look man, I'm only gonna say this once and I'm not meming or anything here: Please, please PLEASE move the fuck on and let it the fuck go, get off of 4chan for a bit and seek a professional therapist to help you deal with your shit, I'm not saying this to be a cunt or make you feel bad, but please just stop least you become the very lowcow you once mocked.
yes you did fuck up, but come the fuck on you can't let that shit haunt you, instead learn from the mistake in order to make yourself a better person, for example I called a girl fat back in school but I feel bad but I don't let it haunt me instead I forgive myself and use that moment to remind myself of what not to do, some lessons have to be learned the hard way, nobody is perfect, not you, not me, not anyone so stop feeling sorry for yourself.