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Listen, Spongebob. You don't want to buy Sword and Shield. You see those lovely ladies over there? They won't be impressed by your brand loyalty. They're impressed by MEN. Men who can make decisions, men who are strong! Not... little kids like yourself. Come on Spongebob, let's go hit some weights and you can get past this silly Pokémon business. No, really Spongebob. You need to work out.