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PREPARE YOU URETHRA BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO JAB A HOT METAL PIPE UP IT
See this tortoise? Not the small one, the big one. This nigga's called Torterra. You can also call him "dad" because he's fucking your mom 24/7. Seriously, look at this fucking colossus of a Pokemon. He gets STAB on Grass AND Ground moves, which, in case you live under a fucking rock, hits 471 of all existing Pokemon for super effective damage. JESUS CHRIST.
Now lets talk about artillery. This badass gets Wood Hammer, the manliest fucking move in the game. He fucking rams into you at 180 base power, enough to OHKO Kyogre, the fucking creator of the ocean. Still not impressed? Well get off the ground you fucking idiot because here comes an Earthquake to rape your ass. Electric types a shit when this nigger comes plowing through. But that's not all! This majestic reptile even gets STONE EDGE, arguably the best Rock-type attack in the game. It'll kill all those bitches in the air that are dodging Earthquake and resist Wood Hammer. Pussy ass Bug, Fire, and Ice types cower as this utter beast crushes them under rocks. BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALL! Torterra even gets SUPERPOWER. FUCKING SUPERPOWER. THIS FUCKING TORTOISE HAS SUPER POWERS. It'll fucking kill any dumbass Hydreigons thinking they'll survive an Earthquake, as well as shatter those bitch ass Ice-types.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S EVEN MORE! THIS FUCKER EVEN GETS SYNTHESIS AND LEECH SEED. He won't be going down any time soon unless you play like a retard.
