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>Be old
>Live alone after my wife passed away years ago
>Walking back home from the herb shop
>Sale on the heal powder I use to help my arthritis
>Decide to take a shortcut this time to get more exercise for my joints
>Suddenly some hooligan jumps out of the bushes and knocks me down
>"OW MY BURSITIS!" I yell
>She laughs and takes throws down a pokeball
>Outcomes some kind of salamander but with womanly proportions
>She points at me and the pokemon starts walking towards me
>Try to scramble backwards but my psoriasis is acting up and my legs are cramped
>The harlot of a pokemon approaches me and climbs on top of me and I can almost smell it's promiscuity, disgusting
>The hooligan behind it is giggling as I shout for the whippersnapper to stop
>As my throat clogs up due to my osteoporosis I pray to Arceus for someone to save me
>Right as it sticks it's tongue out, it's suddenly knocked off me by a pink blast
>Turn my neck as far as my gastroparesis will let me
>See a woman in a white dress behind me
>No wait it's a pokemon
>But she looks just like my late wife, Martha
>She drives the hooligan and it's pokemon away
>Helps me up and hands me my bag with my cocaine in it
>Thank it dearly for saving me and turn to go back home
>It follows me all the way
>Telepathically tells me that it wants to stay with me
>Can't turn her down because she looks like my wife
>Still lives with me after years reminding me more and more of my wife
>I'm never lonely anymore now that I can hold hands with Gardevoir and watch the sunset
