>>13479430http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxgtvYxba4s"I...I lost neither!" you finally say, which ends up surprising the sprite.
"Hmm...Interesting. For years I have had potential travelers fail to pass this test of true honesty, and now, I will be honest: I knew you never lost anything in the first place. And because of that, I will bestow you, a great gift!"
"Ooh! Is it both of the donuts?!"
The sprite shakes her head, "No, even better: Both of the donuts and...
ENLIGHTENED EUPHORIC INTELLIGENCE!Using her powers, the sprite enriches your mind with phony information from a farce god, so much that your head explodes.
And that's when you wake up to the moans of a dirty Lentimian giving you mouth-to-mouth.
The moment that sinks in, you desperately push the dirty shit aside, sitting up and coughing terribly. Pounding your chest, you cough up all of the water you took in, and shake the rest out of your ears.
"Hey look, the naked guy is alive!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
The muscular men proceed to dance to dubstep, which happens to be Calcuttistan's favorite 'genre' of music overall. In the midst of their dumb random shit, you dry yourself and put your clothes back on.
"Huh...That was a fucked up dream, but I *DID* leave with enlightened intelligence, and that euphoria has just given me an excellent idea!"
You make a private call to the Director on your Xtransciever, "Excuse me Director! But I have dire news. See, I looked into the drug cartel situation, but here's the thing: It's not drugs they're trying to sell, it's bath salts, THEY'RE SELLING BATH SALTS. I snorted some and went mad with power for a little bit so I can confirm that they're just a big bunch of meanies out to humiliate everyone, what do you want me to do next?"