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This is my Cal. There are many like her, but this one is mine. My Cal is my wife. She is my life. I must master her as I must master my life.
Without me, my Cal is useless. Without my Cal, I am useless. I must treat my Cal true. I must vote faster than my enemy who is trying to defeat Cal. I must vote for Cal before he votes for Nene. I will...
My Cal and I know that what counts in Tripokalons is not the moves she performs, the noise of her cheers, nor the visuals Scraggy makes. We know that it is the votes that count. We will win...
My Cal is human, even as I, because she is my life. Thus, I will learn her as a sister. I will learn her weaknesses, her strength, her parts, her accessories, her sights and her costumes. I will keep my Cal clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...
Before God, I swear this creed. My Cal and I are the defenders of the Tripokalon floor. We are the masters of our opponents. We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is Cal's and there is no enemy, but peace!