>>36715518no I wasn't. I've been dealing with serious suicidal thoughts and tendencies for about 2 years now. It's like it never goes away. There are periods where it isn't as loud but those have been few and far between lately.
>>36715495I might have to take a day off of work desu; I dunno how though I have a ton of shit to do lol. I dunno if you've seen the recent reports about the decade we have left before serious effects of climate change are going to start being felt. At work I'm surrounded by people who like, don't care; my lab uses a ton of plastics and most of the people around me don't seem to give two shits about the environment. I tried telling a coworker how I wanted to go to grad school and study behavioral ecology of fish and he was just like, *scoffs* "fish have behaviors?? lmao" like fuck off. Emma the tiger shark has more personality in her anal fin than you do in your whole body. And you're studying to help fight antibiotic resistant diseases and help people, but there isn't going to be anyone to help if they're all dead from floods, storms, earthquakes, and whatever else might happen.
Like how can you call yourself a scientist and not be a fucking environmentalist??? And how can you be so disrespectful to another branch of science?????????
I just... I can't understand how people DON'T want to commit suicide, like in a logical sense. I'm still fighting that instinctual desire to stay alive, but from a logical standpoint, it just isn't worth it. The cons of living so outweigh the pros. Like I can't wrap my head around how everyone isn't suicidal.
I shouldn't be ranting on here, I'm sorry. I'm just lonely, lmao it sounds so pathetic. No one around me really feels the same and the only friend I made in college who does now lives too far away to hang out with.
>>36715636here, at least I'm contributing even if it's not the best
