>>55801543I'm sure there's a funny story behind that. Luckily for me, I'm good at turning workplace frustrations on its head by being incredibly sarcastic but also very helpful and constructive. Like the time we had a printer break and start spitting streaks of red ink onto random pages that passed underneath. Other lackeys had mentioned it in the days prior and got brushed off, but I know better than to trust polite requests to get results. So I instead recontextualized the incident as the work of a malevolent entity from beyond the stars and brought it to my boss's attention.
To: [boss]
Subject: Maintenance Request
A cold paranoia at the corner of the menial's vision compelled him to look down at the printer, and something malicious looked back at him. It could not be called a face, for a face has angles and limits and this had neither. Dark red points of light that could be dying stars or arid planets or leering eyes gazed upwards into the ether. A spiraling galaxy of quasars and nebulae twisted into a scarified rictus grin that stretched infinitely across a white void. Sickly crimson beads emerged from the darkness above, tearing themselves free of their caul in a macabre dance that slowly rose in intensity as they took shape into gleeful imps. Sons and daughters of a hateful Machine God.
Imagine another three or four paragraphs of that. I didn't get an email response, but the printer was fixed before my lunch break.
My boss stopped by later that afternoon to ask me about my prior work history, and that conversation set in motion the comedy of errors that got my throat all scarred up the next day.
