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My parent had a real shitty marriage, constant arguments and yelling about just about anything. And this made me feel like a total piece of shit since the only reason they kept the marriage was for me. Also my parents' families never liked the other parent which resulted in them not liking me as I was seen as 'the child of the other parent'. This was compounded by the fact that I was bullied at school so I kind of just grew up hating myself. Oh and as I got older the verbal abuse was now also directed at me and how much I fucked things up. They did eventually divorce but my father died less than a year later and I don't know why but it hurt.
Now I'm so scared of getting close to anyone that I've never even had a friend. And to this day I have a hard time not hating myself.
Well now I feel like shit.
