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Update for those that give a shit
I've tried uninstalling and reinstalling multiple times, deleting data and cache, restarting my phone etc.
I'm logging in though facebook, is that a bad thing? It has that loading circle that comes up for a bit and sometimes it goes away and the regular poke circle spins forever.
Is there a support email address or number I can contact? FFS I just want to play the game. My roommates account works fine from the same Wi-Fi.