>>17527550Feedback is a rare surprise, thanks =) As for the abruptness, this was somewhat inspired by a really cool story that I wanted to try and emulate (Emergency by Denis Johnson). While I did it with markedly less skill, it serves a purpose, and I plan to keep it for this story. Each flashback begins and ends with a single sentence paragraph if that helps at all. It probably doesn't.
As for the rest, I agree. The stabbing I kind of shoehorned in on a whim, and it didn't really pan out how I'd hoped. I'm also pretty bad with description. I really liked some of the descriptions I have in there, but I agree, it could definitely use more.
Anyway, thanks for the reply. The whole reason I even share my work is to improve, so posts like this are nice motivation, not to soapbox too hard ;)
