>>23504289>>23504251Just did a quick search of "On the nose dialogue" while rereading the entire story.
I'll be honest. I've never heard of "on the nose" until now, and, well, I gotta agree with
>>23504039 . It seems that more than just the tense needs to be corrected, way more. I don't mind the harshness anon, as it does tell me the initial reaction of some people who actually bother to read it in the first place. Additionally, you aren't the first one to call out on my bad habit of past present mixups, which is obviously a sign for me to git gud at keeping one tense.
One thing I'd like to keep for this story though is the "boring cliche of your generic harem or VN protagonist" since they're extremely malleable
and I have yet to properly develop him, or break him. Or whatever happens to these kind of people that make them go insane. Maybe I'm just bad at making subtle hints.Perhaps that's why people hire beta readers before publishing chapters.
I find it ironic that I can call call out stuff like this but can't stop myself from doing the same thing 