>>46784324Pretty cute stuff, anon! Maybe not the most thrilling read, but a little obsessively-hardworking fairy dude is hard not to cheer for anyways. The work is mostly mechanically sound (a couple places I might have inserted a comma, but that might even just come down to a stylistic choice), and it leaves me curious to read more about Oliver and the world around him. I wonder how he got so hyped to work such a menial job which he's physically ill-suited for, and for a boss who seems to hate his guts to boot.
The narrator here has a nice bit of character while still being properly distant as a third-person perspective should be. It helps the narration from feeling too dry, which is definitely good - I find it kind of hard to explain how to do it right to someone who isn't, and I think overall you're doing alright in that department. Your dialogue is mostly well-written, too. It all sounds natural and you avoided a lot of common mistakes new writers make in tagging speech, neither too much as to be distracting nor too little as to be confusing. I do think you could stand to work on your character voicing, though. That is, part of writing strong dialogue is making each character have mannerisms shine through such that you can tell who's speaking even without tagging them in most cases. Of course, you have to be careful not to go too far in the other direction as to make them sound like unrealistic cartoon caricatures, too.
I see you posted one other thing before this, but only the one. I think overall if we treat this as your starting point it's a damn strong one! You could go real far if you focus more on getting the reader invested in a more engaging story. Fulfilling Delivery had kind of a low-key comfy charm, but if you intend to follow Oliver in the long term you'll want to get your readers more heavily invested in him and his surroundings, you know?
Anyway, I hope your muse finds you again sometime soon, anon. Do come back with more when you've got it.
