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I am a walkchad. I walk and run each day, each step closer to treading each kilometer down into the dust. If I can’t open the app, I let my adventure sync be my scribe as I move ever forward.
I will not chinkswing, nor will I use cheat apps to pretend I’ve walked hundreds of kilometers, when I can just walk the kilometers myself with my legs built of granite.
I will grind every shitmon into candies, only seeing them as fuel for my stardust collection. I will make dustlets cope and seethe when they see my gorillion+ stardust count.
I will punish carfags on sight. I will immediately remove their shitmons from gyms and call them out for being a burden on efficient transportation systems. If they persist I will dent their shitmobile with my foot and toss their wrinkled ass out of their car.
I will hunt down every spoofatty. My hands will force their weak mouths open so I can stuff their piggy faces with food until they give in. Of course, as payment for my service, I will take their phone, smash it with my fist, and toss its remains in a ditch on my next long adventure.
I will sacrifice a 4* mon daily to appease Hanke and his RNG magic. I will make his underlings dilate in fear as I hurl space rocks at their windows.
