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I create OCs that are carefully designed and meticulously thought out, but I don't make it known that they were created to be shipped with canon characters because I'm worried it'll tarnish them and nobody will like me because of how intense the hatred for OcxCanon is, even with a recent surge of popularity for it in the last few years. I have a lot of problems making friends because of this, since I'm also well aware of being selfish and self-serving. I don't like talking to people about anything other than my fixations so I'm cold and distant to people attempting to make friends with me and I feel bad about it. I don't want to be lonely anymore, but I've been burned so often by past friendships ending via ghosting or worse that I don't want to associate with people anymore except for my close family and my significant other. I haven't had an IRL friend in well over a decade.
