>>41229496While consulting your legal practitioner is important, it's also just as important to not immediately get on the bad side of the person who's about to pass critical judgment on you. You decide to do without Mr. Calemson's advice.
"B-because you're the best!" you tell the judge nervously. "H-hashtag Grookey gang gang!"
"Oooh..." your lawyer cringes. "That's going to set us back..."
Rillaboom eyes you, still disinterested, but evidently satisfied enough to leave it at that. "Right... And what is our defense looking like?"
A Cramorant waddles before the judge, his beady and blank. He cranes his head to the side, blinks twice, and...
"Cram—ACCCK!" he cries. "CRAM—AAAAAAACK!"
The court is forced to watch him choke on his own cud until he's able to cough up the actual attorney—an Arrokuda. The fish does not hesitate to put on a pair of reading glasses and produce an appropriately scaled folder, filled to the brim with documents sure to make you look at fault.
"Kuda Gooding Jr.," the fish introduces himself to the court. "Attorney at law. Mr. Kuda Gooding Sr. is my father. This here is my means of conveyance, Cramyonero."
"Cram cram!"
"He provides the homely gut with which I currently reside and furnish with the earnings of my successful cases," Kuda turns to your side of the court. "I'm here to argue, on region-wide telly, why this insubordinate youth is completely and totally out-of-line in slandering, smearing, and defacing my client as a charlatan, trickster, fraudster, and most outrageously—a nazi."
The judge turns to his stenographer. "I wasn't aware that was on the record."
The stenographer, a cute intern lass, shrugs. "It is now."
"Uh-huh..." the judge returns his gaze to you ."Victor whatever-your-last-name-was, you stand here on The Pilpul's Court accused of being a crybaby tattletale nazi. How do you respond?"
A) Remind the judge that you're the plaintiff.
B) Ok, two of those things are accurate.
C) Let Mr. Calemson respond.
