>>53737805I hope it holds up, I was jumping around it last night and it reads like someone who's still in college who's been writing for a while but has room to improve all the same. Which is about where he was when he wrote it iirc.
If you feel like giving me a chance, although she isn't the main character, May is heavily involved in my own fic at
>>53704441 and she probably has the most dialogue right now besides Dawn herself and she will have her own arc with another character involved in the larger plot.
For a sample, jump to "A Starles Sky" and CTRL+F for "Can't believe it..." and read the rest of the scene from there.
Or just start from chapter 1, she shows up after the first page worth.
