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Sinnohfag here, I came to Alola for vacation and boy was that a mistake. The weather is unbearably hot, I keep getting accosted by a gang of rapping wiggers and I can’t go five seconds without getting ambushed by a bunch of ugly black Rattata. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, a giant blue portal or something opened up in front of the motel I’m staying at and spat out a piece of origami. Just as I was questioning what the fuck I just saw, it sprung to life and cut my fucking rental car in half. I seriously hope my insurance covers that, I had to save up for years to afford this trip and I don’t have cash to spare. But anyway, back on topic, the little fucker’s been staring at me for the past half-hour as I’m typing this. It hasn’t shown hostility since cutting my car but I scared that it might attack if I shout for help or make any sudden moves. I don’t know what to fucking do, guys. All my pokeballs are in my room, which the little bugger is blocking the path to. And even then, we haven’t been in a serious battle in over a decade, so I don’t if we could even beat it. I don’t know if I’m going to make it out of this so I just wanna say this now: Fuck Alola and if any you guys are natives, fuck you too.
