>>36579159Amazing review! I will explain my view points! And thanks for all the punctuation fixes. I slip on those as sometimes I mix my mother language's grammar rules.
>Always beware opening with a sense of dullness or it will color your readers' first impression.I guess that' what I wanted to go for tho. Subvert people's expectation since Pokèmon is always filled with excitement, huh?
>Adulthood ends at 14?In the Pokémon world, you are adult at 10. Someone leaked info about that from the anime and I'm using it as canon.
>Where?Gonna add that, more description. Got it.
>(This passage is amusing but I'm not sure if that's the humor if any you're aiming for, here.)It actually was! If you got any tip to re-word it so that people can tell the differerence tho, I am all ears.
>You're establishing the hell out of this sponge.Yeah I think I went overboard with it. Again, I tried to emphasize how dull the situation is but that doesn't means I should make it dull for the reader.
>Again, don't tell your reader things are boring; and don't say they're boring so you can then say, "but today will be different!" It has to be or it's not a story, so get to the good stuff.Guilty of all that. I better fix it asap
