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Don't take the last part of my previous post the wrong way, I'm just sleep deprived and trying to be funny in my usual crass way. I recognize it's not really ideal to be doing that, but fuck it. I've got little left to lose.
I'm truly sorry for your back-to-back losses. I lost two in one year and have failed to properly recover, which is why I write the things I do now. I struggle to understand how others can handle it so deftly.