>>56814383>>56819780>>56812232>Bibi ReviewI don't know how about Instantlergram or Rugrattattas. "Forged In Hellfire" sounds like the name of a cookie cutter deathcore band like Shadow of Intent or Brand of Sacrifice, it's a perfect band name for someone pretending to be extreme but really just obsessed with kayfabe. Alto continually and shamelessly dropping Cid Kagenou tier lines never fails to get me and the nail polish was also funny. Is there a reason how he got this way? I think there's potential for a running gag of him continuously trying to justify his feminine tastes. Bibi continues to be super huggable and punchable.
I'm still waiting to see more of Alto in a crop top. And the others as well too.>Koa ReviewAdmittedly, a bit cliche, but I liked it a lot. Like the other guy said, you should probably proofread it once you get the cover art done. Personally, I think you should change all of the "Dragon/Fighting Type" to "Dragon and Fighting Type" or just "the Dragon". I also should warn you, on the second page you forgot to put spaces between the paragraphs starting with "Rushing", "Ma", "It's", and "Go". IIRC, dashes between words do not have a space between them.
I struggle to envision a boat home shaped like a Gyrados, as well as a Kommo-o with a shit-eating grin, but it's a cool concept. Koa's manner of speech is interesting and pretty well developed, he's very clearly 14 years old with strict parents, unironically saying "heck", and I don't take issue with the dialogue-heaviness, it's expected for an exposition and I don't really care how long a build-up is as long as it's worth it. The tour guide scene was my favorite and the "pet dragon" comment was hilarious as well as the "Darumaka droppings". "Z-Noodles" are cringeworthy but very Alolan. I think you could have extended Hemlock's speech a bit
it might also be too early to have Tapu Fini falling ill but I'm looking forward to the more action-focused Chapter 2
