Thus begins the most stressful 10 minutes of my life...Well, I'm pretty much fucked in every way, shape, and form. So I'd probably just sit there and wait for him to turn up. Then, when he kicks my front door in, I just raise my fists, run at him, all the while playing this on my laptop:
http://youtu.be/mFVO12G-8uMMay as well go out in style.