>>57502169Thanks for the comments homie. This is pretty helpful. I know one of my weaknesses is describing details in scenery and just overall. It's just not something I dwell on too much, and I always worry I'm going to over explain things, but I will work on writing some better scenery in chapter 3 (I just finished Ch 2 last night).
As for Wol's personality that's interesting to note. I'm curious for you to explain what you think of his character more. My intention was for him to be
an expy of Red, a more silent character who doesn't say much. But instead people mistake his quiet awkwardness for stoic confidence. Most of his conversations involve him listening to other people while he thinks. So his words are supposed to short and to the point in a way that comes off poorly if you know what hes thinking like the reader. But he's also in far more emotional turmoil in that scene than the reader would know yet as I believe it's just before the reveal of why he's arrived at the temple. As for the ending I'm afraid I may have accidently rushed it a bit to get it to being done. It might be another weakness of my writing style. I tend to try and not linger too long on a scene when I feel that it's complete.
If you've got more thoughts I would love to hear them.
