>>58337652>one controls the level of access to self others have.That's called having boundaries, which normal people do. If someone has way too many boundaries forming a shell, it's usually to protect themselves (whether they're just shy or a more extreme case being traumatized/having an avoidant attachment style), as a defense not an offensive. "Access to self" isn't necessarily someone else's right either, if someone's too clingy or demanding attention 24/7 they might have an anxious attachment, which is also a mess. Avoidant and anxious types tend to attract each other and the results are usually disastrous. Stereotypically men are avoidant and women anxious but those are just generalizations. It's relatively rare to then also have narcissistic psychopathic "I won't let you talk to me because I like seeing you suffer hehehe" added on top of the existing complexity
unless you live in a shithole "culture" that is itself highly narcissistic, then good luckRuby and Sapphire's relationship is sometimes interpreted as a textbook anxious-avoidant dynamic. But I don't think Sapphire is that anxious over relationships, she had a normal level of investment and the fact she's willing to end things proves she has bigger priorities. Their relationship is more "normal attachment"-avoidant as in Ruby's the bigger obstacle to progress, not Sapphire, and the narrative reflects this. His whole RS/E/ORAS character arc especially between E/ORAS is about him overcoming his avoidant habits.
>Ruby sometimes pushes Sapphire away to keep maintaining the dynamic he wants to be comfortable.On that point he's clearly just an avoidant. There he's driven more by fear (protecting himself) than he's driven by a need to control the situation, though there's definitely some overlap. If he was more interested in control than just protecting himself, then you could argue he's more dangerous, but that'd be seriously mischaracterizing Ruby.
