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>20
>still an insecure bitch that self loathes and with no esteem for himself
And the weird thing is that people seem to see me differently. They often tell me Im smart, tough looking, interesting to talk to, have a nice voice (I feel the total opposite about each one of them) and even some girls tried to get my number.
But I think my kids experiences will never not fuck me up on a subconscious level (maybe thats the reason?)
>be mollested by a tall stranger at 10yo
>be sexually harrassed in middle school
>being humilated and mocked in middle school and high school where my humanity was basically stollen by my peers
>never had parents (or friends) support me emotionnaly or philosophically
>being so afraid of my dad's beatings and intrusiveness I started hallucinating him and he lived rent free in my head
Basically I was treated like an object and a freak my whole childhood and teenage years and this still reverberates on my college years.
I also have a pb of identity that makes me change personality with every new person I talk to, so I can't do shit when Im in a group and from people's perspective Im really weird and scary. (Tried to reconcile two "personnalities" (basically guy who tries to be funny / happy about life, and a more serious guy to have interesring discussions), and when I made the change she started crying and ran away from me. Wonder if this is a mental illness.
I love Raichu.
